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Having your day in court

Finding A Solution To Messy Child Access Handovers

by Beverley Lopez

After you have gotten divorced, if you have children you will need to maintain a child access handover process with your ex partner. Child handovers can easily get messy and become a target for the anger and frustration the partners feel over the divorce. Here are some tips to have a smooth child handover if things are tense with your ex-partner.

Avoiding a direct handover

One of the easiest strategies where there is a tense relationship between parents of school age children is to simply have one parent send the children to school one morning and have the other parent pick them up. This avoids a direct handover and allows the children to not see their parents fighting. The parents simply have to keep a communication diary, which the child hands over when they get picked up.

Finding a neutral place for a handover

Finding a neutral place with other adults such as an indoor playground can be an excellent place to handover pre-school aged children. This allows the children to have a positive association with the handovers and the presence of other adults, and a neutral setting can keep many emotional issues at bay.

Maintaining your own decorum

If your partner tends to get easily upset, it can be tempting to bring another adult along to a handover for support. However, this can aggravate the situation, particularly if the person is a new romantic partner. It is much more sensible to have each parent attend and have third party adults in the vicinity.

Ensure that you are acting with best intentions by arriving on time and bringing with you any of the children's personal items that came with them. It can be helpful to also keep a diary where you can record any issues that arise, such as homework that is due or invites to birthday parties that may fall on the other parents' access day.

Supervised handover points

If there are particular concerns over domestic violence, you can also handover at designated handover points - often at family relationship centres.

If you are struggling with handovers, make sure to keep a personal record of any issues you have encountered and the time and date of these issues for use in any court proceedings. A family law lawyer can help you write a parenting plan that incorporates some of the hints above to make handovers easier. They can also advise on how to fix any ongoing issues and when to head to court for a new child access judgement.

For more information, contact a business such as Ian Harper & Co Specialist Family Lawyers.

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